You can be mad, but you can’t be mean is a super helpful expression to share and use with your family.
Download, print and this post the helpful Kimochis expression as a gentle way to guide positive ways to express anger.
At mealtime, hold the mad feeling pillow and remind your child that everyone gets mad sometimes. Add that anger or mad feelings are important AND we need to learn and practice positive ways to let people know we feel mad.
Pass the mad feeling pillow and have each family member make a mad face and mad sound.
Share that when our bodies feel mad it is easy to accidentally hurt people by using a fighting face (show this) fighting voice (show this) and using hurtful words.
Explain that when your family has mad feelings you practice using 3 positive communication tools. Show and have your child imitate the following.
- Talking or calm voice
Say, “That’s mine in a fighting voice then talking voice.”
- Talking or calm face
Scrunch your eyes to look fighting then soften your eyes to look relaxed and talking.
- Helpful words
Brainstorm helpful and hurtful words. Determine words that are off limits to say such as, “I hate you” or “You’re mean.”
Now, pass the mad feeling pillow for everyone to share what can create mad feelings. Kids often benefit from the parent going first and using this sentence to get started. I can feel mad when…..
Make a family communication challenge to start noticing mad feelings so you can come back and pass the mad and share:
- A time you felt proud about how you managed a mad moment
- A time you wish you could do over
- A time you admired how someone in your family handled a mad moment