Kimochis Feeling Pillows Guide:

Activities for Mental Health Professionals to Help Children Process and Regulate Big Feelings

Authors: Jill Kristal, Ph.D. and Ellen Pritchard Dodge, M.Ed., CCC-SLP

QUICK START

Feelings Hide-and-Seek

Have the child pick three or four feeling pillows and hide them in your office while your eyes are closed. Then hunt for the pillows with the child giving you cues as you move closer (“warm,” “warmer,” “boiling”) or farther away (“cold,” “colder,” “freezing”) from each one. Once a feeling pillow is found, both child and therapist talk about a time they felt that feeling. You can take a turn hiding the pillows too. Again, encourage the child to come up with different situations in which they have felt the feeling rather than letting them repeat the same situations, providing prompts, if necessary. Build on this by having the child talk about a time that someone else they know had that feeling (their dad, siblings, a friend) or by creating a story that incorporates all of the found feelings.

Feelings Soup

Kimochis® soups are a staple in our therapeutic approach because they can be used in multiple ways, like celebrating such special events as birthdays, winter break, and personal accomplishments or working through difficult experiences by breaking them down into separate “ingredients” that feel more manageable one hard-to-have feeling at a time. So for this activity, get out your mixing spoon and either a large mixing bowl or a soup pot so you can start cooking!

Begin by sprinkling all the Kimochis feeling pillows on a table or the floor word-side-up. Place the bowl or pot in the middle of them, then invite the child to engage: “Let’s make Kimochis soup!” Start with one that will contain mostly good feelings, like “Vacation Soup.” Have them toss in all the feelings they have about taking a vacation.

Note: When it comes to soups containing mostly challenging feelings, like “Getting a Bad Grade Soup,” it can be helpful to keep this activity more objective in the beginning by using conditional and third-person language, such as, “What feelings might kids your age have when they get a bad grade?” Once the child gets the hang of making Kimochis soup, you can make this activity more personal.

Here are some suggested recipes for school-age children:

First Day of School Soup
Test Soup
Fighting Soup
I Am Moving Soup
Family Soup
Homework Soup
Birthday Party Soup
Recess Soup
I Want More Soup (feelings the child wants more of)
Soup I Don’t Like (feelings the child wants less of)
I Need Help Soup (feelings the child wants to work on)

Once a topic or theme is chosen, let the child select any and all feelings they have about that topic and toss the pillows in the pot. You can toss some in too, to make the soup richer and more complex for discussion. Hand them a mixing spoon and let them stir the soup as they explain why they included each “ingredient.” For example, “When I didn’t do well on my math test, I felt embarrassed. And I also felt sensitive because I didn’t want the other kids to think I wasn’t as smart as them.” Acknowledge what they’ve shared with you—“Yes, that makes sense; I think most people feel embarrassed when they don’t do well on an exam”—then share your reasons for adding your own ingredients: “But I’m curious about why you got a bad grade. Do you think it was because you didn’t study enough or maybe because you didn’t understand the directions?” Then add, “School is a place for learning. So I’m hopeful that your teacher will help you with your math skills and that you’ll do better next time.”

Take turns with the child exchanging tips and tricks for managing each feeling. Wrap up this activity by having the child identify one new idea or lesson they learned from this “recipe” that might help them with these particular feelings in the future.

The best thing about this activity is that you can do it over and over—creating new and different soups—talking about how life is a great big bowl of mixed feelings too and learning something new each time. Consider adding a “Soup of the Week” to start off each session, letting the child toss in and mix up all the feelings they had since they last saw you last. Once the soup is made, have the child pull out each feeling and discuss which other feelings might have made the situation better. It’s a great ice-breaker with unlimited variety and potential!

QUICK JUMP LINKS

These activities are geared towards children ages 5–12. However, you will discover that the activities are readily adaptable for younger children, teens, and adults.

Group 1 Activities focus on building a feelings vocabulary.
Group 2 Activities examine the physical nature of feelings and their impact on thoughts and behavior.
Group 3 Activities explore the importance of talking about feelings.
Group 4 Activities look at sharing feelings—how to and with whom.

Together, these tasks impart beliefs that comprise the Kimochis® philosophy, including:

Feelings are neither good nor bad; it’s what you do with them that makes the difference.
Even big, hard-to-have feelings are important and can be handled in helpful ways.
Much can be expressed without a lot of speaking but with a lot of good listening.